February 17, 2010
Dear Ma: Excuse my impudence by writing this letter to you. After all I am but a small boy, a non entity without even a fancy surname which you could easily recall. I have explored and exhausted all avenues through which I could reach out to you and state my case, hence this letter. And if you were to take offence in my choice of media then Wallahi, that is because nobody is willing to deliver it to you now that power has started slipping from your hand or so it looks to them.articleadslinks
I don't have your Saudi mobile phone number with which to call you. And even if I do I don't have the money to put a long distance call nor am I sure you would answer the phone since I believe you don't have my number and important persons like you could not be bothered by small people like me. It is my belief that you are the only person in the whole world with the power to put me out of my misery hence this letter. I have a simple request to you: give me, my family and my fellow compatriots a breathing space. Tell the world that your husband cannot do it anymore. Communicate a letter to the national assembly to this effect and wish Goodluck his name. To be blunt, I want you to convince your husband to resign.
I know you might be thinking how stupid of Aliyu to make such a ridiculous request. I admit I am ignorant of the ways of power and that, I am sincerely convinced, is a source of strength to me for I am not ignorant of the ways of want, suffering and deprivation which millions in Nigeria through your intransigence are condemned to live. Thus, I could be dispassionate in my position. You might be asking: what informed this letter. To this I say: LOVE. Pure and unadulterated love for my country; my state of which your family come from; my religion which I share with you; love to the first family, as strange as it sounds; and pity to an old woman who once had a son who could laugh, joke, smoke, walk and tell lies just like any ordinary politician in the land. Have you ever deign to ask yourself how would you feel or behave if you were Haj. Dada Habi and one of those young bustling boys we saw on saharareporters wielding AK Rifle was Ummaru on sickbed surrounded by a cold hearted bitch for a wife, papa-eating vultures for children, draculas for in-laws and pack of wolves for fellow journey-men? Now I am not saying you are a bitch nor am I wishing you the suffering of the president's mother although countless others do. I would be the last person to call you or wish you so. My religion would not accept that nor is my culture willing to do any less.
Speaking of culture and religion, I was around in Katsina when because of your missionary activities you were turbaned "Mujaddadiya" what ever happened to that one now. Those were the days of Gwaggo Turai the epitome of modesty and personification of Hausa culture. Yes the way you dress and carry yourself. No wonder people hate you now even more. Today, Katsinawa have a new picture of you: a desperate woman who has desecrated the deep traditions of family-hood by erecting a wedge between Ummaru and his family; a woman who is mercilessly accumulating riches as if the Egyptian Pharaohs of yore had not done so only for the treasures to be looted later by archeologists. Here in Katsina they even have a name for you: Nagin (A crude reference to the legendary beautiful Indian woman who turns into a serpent in the night and harm people). Today, we Katsinawa are no longer our former boisterous selves. Our brother has failed as a leader and now he is sick, the nation is in the grip of a cabal, a brotherhood of crime, with you as the head and almost all of you from Katsina. We are being accused for conspiring to destroy the nation but we stand innocent. God knows this but Nigerians do not because they are not gods.
People think the problem is with the president and I think there is no problem at all. Only that you don't want to comeback to Katsina for the Idda days. That should not be a problem because you need to understand this: Allah's decree always prevails. But you can help yourself by accepting it in good grace.
I have had the privilege of doing small excursion into the many trillion pages of history. A privilege that is impossible for somebody in your position. I mean what with the presidential banquets, firstladyism and other nasty stuffs which I refuse to believe you could stoop so low to perpetrate such as looting the treasury and meddling in public businesses otherwise Farida would have talk. In my excursion, I have learnt of Solomon and his father David and the kind of power they wielded; of Alexander and his mother Olympias; of Caesar and Cleopatra, and of countless other mortals including Umar the Great for whom your husband was name. Now in my case I have no loftier ambition in life than for people to say there goes Ali what a canny resemblance to his namesake (Ali bn Abu Talib). Your name is Ruqayya, no doubt named after the Holy Prophet's daughter and your husband's was Umar who Michael Hart described as one of the 100 most influential figures in history. What would you like to be so described? Certainly not the couple that undone what our founding fathers had achieved: UNITY OF NIGERIA. The way I see it you are well on your way towards making that history unless you choose to retract your steps which is not difficult for you to achieve.
I therefore submit to you my deepest sympathy at this your time of trial and tribulation. I also submit to you that you have a duty to yourself and to your children: lift this agony of uncertainty; lift this dark clouds hanging on our national unity; lift us and we shall beatify you and declare you the woman who put her country before her personal desires.
How could you do this you might ask? It is simple. Infact, simpler than pronouncing Yar'adua in the true Katsina dialect. First, confess to the country in general that you have taken them for a ride and thus enough is enough. I have never personally considered what you did as taking Nigerians for a ride but since majority felt so then indulge them please. Secondly, apologise to all mothers who believe by your handling of Ummaru, a son born of woman, you have desecrated motherhood. While you are doing that you may care to reach out to the National Association of Nigerian Husbands to restore their confidence in the sanctity of the sacred institution of marriage. Boys and their mothers, I have noticed, are no longer keen on marriage. I don't blame them. Everyone now is afraid lest there is a little Turai lurking in the prospective bride. Third, you should then proceed to get your husband signed a letter of resignation. Surely that could not be very difficult. After all, he signed the Supplementary Budget. To make your atonement complete, I would also love to see the Hospital Bill for Mallam. No! Perish the thought. I absolutely have no intention of auditing the bills just to satisfy my curiosity. It is not very often that we get a sick president.
It is a boring letter huh? Even so, the Holy Prophet, I believe you are perfectly aware had said in Hadith Al-Nawawi that "Religion is sincere advice..." I am thus doing what the prophet enjoined and what those around you dare not out of fear that this song may not be melodious at all and thus cost them their food. In my case however, that food is not from the Rock. You should therefore consider it a free service for national development. On a final note, I say to you for the sake of whatever good you are doing in the Rock be gone, be gone, and be gone with you. I don't expect you to like my letter, but being you as wise and intelligent as you are charming and beautiful, I expect that you will see this letter for what it is and act accordingly.
Yours in service of fatherland,
Aliyu Mukhtar Katsina.
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